Cogito, Ergo Edo

I think, therefore I eat.

That's pretty much the philosophy by which I lived my former life. These days I am still thinking a lot about eating, but as the old Apple Computer campaign would have put it, I "Think Different." 

For starters, I think that I want to eat more. But I don't.

As I have often said--I do extreme behavior well--it's moderation I find challenging. During this very well defined period of rapid weight loss (and to some degree self-deprivation) it is clear to me why and how I would resist the temptation to eat more. And I know, I know I'm supposed to be living in the now, but I can't help but wonder how well this behavior will translate to life back on food.

I used to graze so delightfully (?--you may not believe this but even I had occasional pangs of guilt and self-loathing) throughout the day. Food pellets were handy and plentiful. I even rationalized (some) that they were healthy and appropriate mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks. (Depending on how many handfuls of pistachio nuts, or whole wheat bread sticks and hummus fit into the definition of healthy and appropriate.)

I also made extremely healthy salads for lunch--probably enough for a family of four, but extremely healthy! Well, let's not get dragged down in the litany of eating abuses. The point is--now I am in absolute control. I am practicing absolute control. Even when I tiptoe over the boundaries of the rigid program, I have done so with a high level of consciousness and sufficient control to border on responsible moderate behavior.  That's what gives me hope. 

I'll leave it at that.