Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Cogito, Ergo Edo

I think, therefore I eat.

That's pretty much the philosophy by which I lived my former life. These days I am still thinking a lot about eating, but as the old Apple Computer campaign would have put it, I "Think Different." 

For starters, I think that I want to eat more. But I don't.

As I have often said--I do extreme behavior well--it's moderation I find challenging. During this very well defined period of rapid weight loss (and to some degree self-deprivation) it is clear to me why and how I would resist the temptation to eat more. And I know, I know I'm supposed to be living in the now, but I can't help but wonder how well this behavior will translate to life back on food.

I used to graze so delightfully (?--you may not believe this but even I had occasional pangs of guilt and self-loathing) throughout the day. Food pellets were handy and plentiful. I even rationalized (some) that they were healthy and appropriate mid-morning and mid-afternoon snacks. (Depending on how many handfuls of pistachio nuts, or whole wheat bread sticks and hummus fit into the definition of healthy and appropriate.)

I also made extremely healthy salads for lunch--probably enough for a family of four, but extremely healthy! Well, let's not get dragged down in the litany of eating abuses. The point is--now I am in absolute control. I am practicing absolute control. Even when I tiptoe over the boundaries of the rigid program, I have done so with a high level of consciousness and sufficient control to border on responsible moderate behavior.  That's what gives me hope. 

I'll leave it at that.

1 comment:

  1. I'm with you. It's easier to be on a very structured regimen with meal replacements, after you get used to the cravings and keep getting the excitement of steady weight loss, than it will be to eat regular, healthy food in a moderate way. Having the one or two tacos rather than the 4 tacos when they're easily accessible, and staying conscious and moderate will be the challenge.